Basic BDSM Workshop
Rules? Laws?
| There are many things that govern how we as individuals behave which results in us all having a different code of conduct or morality. Most people in the bdsm community try to promote tolerance with regard to not judging people by their area of interest in bdsm. Just because someone personally hates or cannot understand why others like spanking for example, should all who partake in that activity be viewed or treated poorly? There are many activities that people dislike, fear or feel are wrong, but those are most often personal views and should not be forced on to others. It is fine to express personal views but do not expect all will agree with them. Many people have unusual or uncommon kinks or interests, and just because a person likes, golden showers, scarification, needle play or maybe sucking toes, does not mean they are a bad individual |
So what affects us?
Personal Morals. |
How and where we are raised and who or what we encounter on our life journey is what moulds us. Society, Family, Religion, Peers, Career, Sexuality, and Country all have effects. Family often determine our body view, whether or not we are comfortable with nakedness, how clean or organised a home should be, how well we communicate with those we are closest to, how 'open' we are with others. Religion can determine our 'moral compass' and ideas on partnership and its permanency. Career can cause us to project what is considered an appropriate image to get further in our chosen profession even though that image may not be one we believe in (nuclear family man vs bachelor). Country can push us into a lifestyle we are not really comfortable with such as living in an Arab country as a man who wishes to be a submissive but is forced into dominance. Our own sense of right and wrong can cause us to feel guilt and shame for things we desire, or our family could view what we do as wrong or sick. This is what usually determines how open we are about what we are doing. |
The Law | What is actually legal and what isn't? When it comes to bdsm many areas of law can be a bit grey and other areas are just not taken into account as for the most part it can be too hard to define from a law point of view. When a person's limits are pushed in play is it abuse? If you are playing consensually can S and M play be treated as assault? Can I use cuffs on my partner? If someone goes to their doctor with bruises can the doctor report it as domestic abuse? It is important that when you get involved in something that you check out its implications. Unfortunately in Australia the laws can vary greatly on some issues from state to state. In some states it is illegal to own handcuffs while in others it is illegal just to use them. Many bdsm 'toys' can be seen as 'offensive weapons'. In some places the police can lay assault changes even though no-one involved in the situation considers it assault or wishes to lay charges. People can also strike problems when relationships go sour. While a partner may have been more than happy to play and agreed to everything while a relationship was good, they could say something totally different if a nasty break-up occurs. The bottom line is be careful and aware. |
Safe, Sane & Consensual | This term is used a lot in the bdsm community and many are trying to promote it as a good code to live by. Once again the definition of these terms vary from person to person, and what one individual sees as safe, sane or consensual can vary widely. Many would say any activity that involves bleeding such as scarification or piercing is not safe no matter how experienced the people involved are, and likewise is said of almost any area of bdsm by someone. It really comes down to each individuals own ideas and limits and one should never assume their ideas and limits are the same as someone else's. Negotiation and communication are always high priorities to avoid problems. |
Safe | Not permanently harmful, non disabling, precautions taken and consequences checked out and accounted for. Preparations and planning are in place if something goes wrong. Basic first aid is known and can be given. |
Sane | Has been thought through with consequences considered and precautions taken, is as safe as viable and all individuals involved are adults who understand what is happening. |
Consensual | All involved parties agree to what is involved or planned, are willing and have not been forced or coerced against their will. All parties are adults who are able to give consent. |
Responsible |
A number of people have started using the term Safe, Responsible, and Consensual in preference to the SSC credo. In the end what everyone is advocating is Responsible play and approaches to play. If one is responsible, it follows that they will try to do things as safely as can be reasonably expected, only with those in agreement and able to understand what they are agreeing to. It is not responsible to take unnecessary risk. |